Alaska!  An immense, scenic state known for oil, fish and government jobs. It was the second of those resources that prompted my father, brother, sister and myself to plan a one week fishing trip to fill our landlocked freezers with aquatic delicacies.  Prior to this trip, I was convinced  the only



My aging parents invited my family to attend an event known as “The Farmer’s Market” yesterday.  They didn’t tell us much, other than piquing our curiosity by informing us that it would be a lot of fun, and there would be a lot of delicious food to sample…I took the bait! We

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Hunter Gatherers

  Men do not ‘shop’.  We ‘hunt and gather‘. Gathering for the female members of one’s clan can be excellent preparation for those of us desiring careers as Egyptian hieroglyphics translators… Many store clerks have been turned to stone instantly by merely gazing upon the paralyzing, hand written shopping lists my wife



 Summer.   Family.  Vacation. The very mention of that phrase has been known to bring burly, hardened men to tears in seconds. Emotional trauma from raw, unspeakable vacationing memories can instantly overwhelm one’s brain stem, causing uncontrollable loss of bodily functions. You might dream that the better part of a week spent with


Dum Dum Daddy

Dad’s delicious recipe for catastrophe: -3 girls ages 7, 5 and 1. -1 filthy mini-van with balding tires. -95 F degree weather. -All occupants of vehicle must be tired and hungry. -Add in 3 impatient drivers behind you in a bank drive-thru. Bring to boil, stir and enjoy!  A bank drive-thru? Yes,



What is it about fresh pizza that creates frenzied, raging werewolves within us, wild for the kill? Not semi-docile beasts that do nothing more than struggle with personal hygiene like in Teen Wolf. No, I’m referring to the “Don’t-even-look-at-my-pizza-or-I’ll-rip-your-flesh-from-your-bones!” type. I thought I had my inner wolf rage under complete control until


Groped By Google View

Kids: “Hey Dad, take us on a road trip…we’d love to see the world!” Me: “You don’t need to drive around wasting gas to see the world…just pull up Google street view and knock yourself out…” Kids: “Gee, thanks Dad!” Me: “Don’t mention it!” I had no moral dilemma with Google street


Treatise on T.P.

  “Help! Bring me another roll of toilet paper! Anyone?! I’m out!  Hurry! My legs are falling asleep!” That phrase, in all of it’s dreadful variations, is perhaps the most endearing and unnerving sound heard on any given day within the walls of our humble abode. Our ancestors had it right.  Build



  Ah the joys of being a lone Alpha Male in a family of females.  Yes, I’m out-numbered 4 to 1, but I can still beat all my daughters in arm wrestling! This fact boosts my middle-aged ego to stratospheric heights! Sure, they are only 4, 8 and 10 years of age…but